


Three Times Jake Peralta Comes Out And One Time He Doesn't

by CaptainWeasley



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Jake Peralta is bi and you will never convince me otherwise, bi culture, chapter one is my favorite, kind of, somehow this became a songfic and i have no idea how that happened, the first three chapters all have their own theme song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 08:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainWeasley/pseuds/CaptainWeasley
Summary: A.k.a. three ridiculous ways Jake could have told Amy he was bi and how she actually found out.





	1. Born This Way

**Author's Note:**

> Look, until tptb _finally_ see the truth and make Jake canonically bi, I have to fill that void somehow.

It's 9 am, and Amy's sitting at her desk, trying to find a connection between two seemingly unconnected drug dealers. There is a major drug case that she is in charge of, and she hasn't really thought of anything else all week. There has to be a connection. Amy is certain that there is a bigger picture that she's somehow missing, and she chews the end of her pencil to help her think. 

Her whole body jumps when an air horn blares through the bullpen, and she has to blink to make sense of what she's seeing. 

Jake is standing in front of the elevator, his whole body wrapped in a giant pink cloth. Rosa's standing next to him, wearing her usual black leather jacket. Did Jake lose a bet? 

Jake sounds the air horn again, and now everybody is definitely looking at him. 

"Listen up," he says loudly. "My good friend Rosa here inspired me to live my truth. Hit it, Boyle!" 

Amy can't believe her ears when she hears Lady Gaga's _Born This Way_ coming out of a speaker that Charles puts on his desk, but she doesn't have time to contemplate what the hell is going on. 

Jake gives a meaningful nod to Rosa, who grabs him by the shoulder and spins him, so that the cloth comes off his body and reveals itself to be a flag containing three colors: pink, purple and blue. Under the flag, Jake is wearing what looks like a suit made of glitter, and now Amy definitely has to blink a few times to make sure what she's seeing is real. 

Jake and Rosa hold up the flag together. 

"I'm bisexual!" Jake shouts over the loud music, grinning happily. "Born this way!" 

"Damn straight," Rosa says in her usual no-nonsense tone, but there is definitely a hint of a smile on her lips. 

" _Straight_ , get it?" 

Jake laughs and high-fives Rosa. 

Amy shakes her head. That explains so much.


	2. Bye Bye Bye

"Ames, I have to tell you something." 

"What is it?" 

Jake looks at her with those big puppy dog eyes and a mischievous grin. 

"Can I do it using *NSYNC lyrics?" 

Amy's not sure this is a good idea, but she knows that it'll make Jake happy. 

"Sure." 

"One moment." 

Jake taps away on his phone, still grinning. A song begins to play that Amy definitely recognizes. It feels a bit surreal, sitting on her sofa while her husband sings the first lines of _Bye Bye Bye_ with passion. What the hell is this supposed to mean? Amy is coming up extremely short. 

"I wanna see you out that door, baby, bye bye bye," Jake sings, and even gets all the dance moves right. 

"Wait," Amy says, with a slight note of panic in her voice. "Are you breaking up with me?" 

"What? No! Babe! Why—Oh. Yeah, I see it." 

Jake looks like he's questioning every decision that's lead him to this moment. He turns off the music, somewhat embarrassed. 

"So, you're not breaking up with me?" 

"No, definitely not. I love you." 

Amy breathes out slowly. Whew. 

"Okay, in that case, I really don't get it." 

Jake looks at her. 

"I'm bi. Bi bi bi!" 

He points at himself unnecessarily, and Amy shakes her head. 

"Couldn't you just tell me using normal words?" 

"Where's the fun in that?"


	3. Eye of the Tiger

When Amy arrives at Shaw's Bar, Charles is already there. 

"Hey Amy, where's Jake? I thought he was coming with you." 

Amy shrugs. 

"He's gonna be late, he's still working a case." 

Charles frowns. 

"What case? We solved the Calzone Murder this afternoon, and we haven't been assigned new cases yet." 

Amy shakes her head. 

"Charles, stop calling it the Calzone Murder, that's gross." 

Before Charles can respond, the two of them are joined by Terry and Rosa, and a few minutes later, almost the whole squad is there. Except for Jake, who's still curiously abscent. Because if Charles is right, and he often is in situations like this, Jake didn't tell either of them the truth. Well, and Gina's not there either, but that is to be expected. She sent out invitations, so she's bound to be late. Gina loves to make a spectacular entrance. 

Half a bottle of beer and a few conversations later, the music suddenly changes, and the lights go out. 

"Is that..." 

Before Amy can finish asking her question, a spot of bright light illuminates a giant cake in the middle of the room. Amy has no idea where that came from. And yes, the music is definitely _Eye of the Tiger_. 

"People!" shouts Gina, emerging from behind the cake, wearing a tight red dress with a wolf print. "I have the honor to present to you the one and only Jacob Peralta!" 

Amy thinks she knows what's going to happen next. Oh dear. 

As predicted, the top of the cake begins to move, and Jake emerges, throwing his hands up in the air. He appears to be wearing a black tuxedo, although Amy can't really tell. Most of Jake is still hidden inside the cake. 

"Tell them, girl." 

"Tonight," Jake says dramatically, "I'm coming out of the cake-closet! I'm bi! _Bi of the Tiger!_ " 

There is a moment of silence, then a few people start to clap. Rosa wolf-whistles. 

"Jake Peralta is bisexual, everyone," shouts Gina, "now who wants cake?"


	4. How Amy Actually Found Out

"Amy, I have to tell you something," Jake says, and Amy isn't sure if that serious tone is just the beginning of a joke, as it so often is with Jake. 

"Sure, what's up?" 

Jake bites his lip for a moment, and doesn't answer right away. 

"This is a bit, um, personal," he says finally. "Haven't actually told a lot of people yet." 

Jake is definitely being serious. 

"Oh my God, do you have a terminal illness?" 

Jake grimaces at her. 

"What? No, of course not! Terminal illness?" 

Amy can feel herself blushing. 

"Well, I don't know, the way you said it, I just thought it had to be something really terrible." 

Jake shakes his head. 

"No, it's not terrible. I just don't go around telling people everything about me." 

Amy raises an eyebrow. 

"Yes, that is exactly what you do. You tell everybody everything about yourself." 

She smiles fondly. Amy loves that about him. 

"Well, it might seem that way to you, which only goes to show that you don't actually know everything about me." 

Amy thinks for a moment. Is there anything Jake hasn't actually told her? Then it hits her. 

"Is this about you being bi?" 

Jake stares at her. 

"Wha—? _How?_ " 

Amy grins. 

"Please, that's obvious. I've known for years." 

"But I haven't told anybody from the Nine-Nine, not even Gina!" 

Amy's smile widens. 

"I'm just such a good detective. And the signs weren't exactly hard to miss." 

"What signs?" 

Amy's expression softens when she thinks about the question. 

"The way you talk about men, the way you look at men, the way you flirt with men, your love for Terry's muscles, the way you treated Captain Holt our first year of working with him... You're not exactly subtle, babe." 

She smiles softly at Jake. 

"And you're okay with me being bi?" 

"Are you kidding? I love that about you! Your heart is so full of love for so many people, I just... I think that's really great." 

Jake finally smiles back. 

"But you know that I love you most, right?" 

Amy grins at him widely. 

"Yeah, I know."


End file.
